My libido is a cluster of seaweed caught between mechanical halves.
Stories
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The Story of 8
Story of 8 “The teenager of the new generation grew up in a time of nerves. Newspapers screaming headlines of race riots, revolution, earthquakes. And back of it all: speed! Everyone rushing nowhere to get nowhere for no reason. Fast planes, fast cars. It’s a fast life, Inspector. It’s a whirlpool of speed and confusion
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My Time Machine
My time machine doesn’t work too well at the moment. It hurts my face now sometimes and gives me crushing headaches when I get back from the past and all I can do is lay in bed and wait for things to get better. I made my time machine with transistors and other shit with
Rave Reviews from the Critics!
- “These tales are visionary in a bottom-of-the-barrel pornographic way….” –Vickie T. Split, Abraxas Headache
- “Kirton’s stories eke out feelings akin to warm red gelatin….” –Bruce Cloverleaf, Buff Spill Reviews
- “These stories really hit you over the head with subtlety....” –Paul Gonk, Fossilized Prose Agenda
- “I was relieved to read them….” –Garth Umberger III, Shoe Leather Surprise
Keep falling apart until everything stops.
More Stories
Link Day One
Adipocere
Like a Tapir in the Bathtub (redux)
The Plummeting
Loose Change
The Job Interview
Synaptic Damage
Ptoth-15 and the City of Piss
Kaleidoscope
Ballad of the Cantankerous Man
The Damage of the Moon
The Hungry Little Monkey
Ligature Marks
Inspiration
The Appointment
American Pagans
Telekinetic Kelly
The Inappropriate Laughter of Monkeys
The Active Training Sessions
Violets and Gasoline
Hollywood
Barbara Payton at the Purple Dandelion
Mike & Pete & Tanya
Buried Skeletal Remains
The Peptic Lethargy of the Urban Werewolf
Books I Scratched Out With Stone Tools
Publications that Featured My Work
Articulate Dross
My other place of business
Other Places I’ve Been Seen
- Stung!
- Masterpiece
- The Waitress Brought Nachos
- Kelp
- Pictures of Lela
- Mussels
- Cults That Kill
- The Mop Martini (Hollywood)
- Johnny Cag’s
- Romita
- Psych-Out (1968) Starring Susan Strasberg
- The Incredible Melting Man
- The Waitress and the Snake
- Elmer
- Breaded Chicken
- Glossolalian Doxology
- The Saw Mill
- American Pagans
- The Wonderful Wound in the Back of My Head
- Under the Poncho
- The Nosebleed Bazaar
- Automatic Zen Hospital
- Body Bags of Blood and Guts (Pulp Lit Mag page 223)
- Preposterous Spleen
- Slide
- Hoover
- A Path Through the Dandelions
- The Car Crash They Saw
- Aah-Ahh-Ahh-Choo!
- Unspeakable Dan
- A Saccharine Jellyfish
- Baby Box Turtles at the Bottom of a Vodka Bottle
Invaluable Bravado
Honorable Mentions
Reviews, Articles & Interviews
- Bleak Holiday
- The New Bad Boys in Town
- Conservatory of Death
- Leaves from the Smorgasbord
- Armless Verbsap Review
- Cringe Interview with Book Goodies
- Another Embarrassing Interview
- The Membranous Lounge
- Strong Author Interview
- Writing that Spits in Your Face
The Styrofoam Saga
The Styrofoam Saga
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BEAT IT, BITCHES!
Crumbling Asphalt 
I’m not familiar with how hail works.
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