We’re sitting on her porch, the trusty Styrofoam cooler between us. There’s a broken hole in the lid now. It was an accident. I’m drinking 32-ounce cans of Colt 45 malt liquor. I love the buzz but it always gives me a headache-heavy hangover. I believe it’s worth it. She’s drinking peach wine coolers forContinue reading “Unidentified Flying Object”
Author Archives: Hank Kirton
The Smell of Flies
We sat. The Styrofoam cooler was there with Pabst Blue Ribbon tallboys. It was like drinking canned tap water. I stretched my legs and a fly buzzed between us. “Ugh, a fly,” she said, waving it away. “I hate the smell of flies.” “The smell of flies?” “Yeah.” “Flies don’t smell.” “Hell if they don’t.Continue reading “The Smell of Flies”
The Umbrax Shift
It’s five o’clock. We’re sitting on her front porch, drinking peppermint schnapps with warm Hawaiian Punch chasers. Somehow, for some reason, she acquired six cases of Hawaiian Punch juice boxes. That’s two hundred and six individual drinks. None of the boxes include those little bendy straws on the back, so we’ve been poking open theContinue reading “The Umbrax Shift”
A Zima Buzz
We’re sitting on her front porch again, drinking foul Zima she’d picked up somewhere. I didn’t think they even made it anymore. Maybe they don’t and these bottles were sitting in a forgotten storeroom for thirty years. It tastes like it. We have eight of the awful things on ice in the usual Styrofoam coolerContinue reading “A Zima Buzz”
Table of Contents
I just finished writing the table of contents for my next novel! Now I just have to write the novel! Brainstorming is half the battle!
Inspiration
I’m in a different city, sitting in yet another hotel room. There are six women in the room. They are talking and laughing and drinking wine. The TV is on and music fills the space around us. I sit at a small card table, staring at blank pages. The women are purposely ignoring me. They respectContinue reading “Inspiration”
This Poem is the Most!
I knew a girl who saw a ghost She said the ghost was Donny Most I told her Most was most alive She said in time he won’t survive So who’s the ghost you witnessed then? `Twas Donny Most, she said again If he’s alive then can’t you see? You must have seen a wannabe!
I Am Often Very Afraid
My friend Dan is pretty supportive when I explain my crazy ideas to him but there’s one thing that he sometimes kids me about. My profound fear of “decreasement in the easement.” And my inability to confront the problem HEAD ON! He chortles at me whenever I mention it. Seriously! Chortles! Is that any way forContinue reading “I Am Often Very Afraid”
My Most Animal Is Radish!
My radish is my most animal because it lives in a crisper drawer inside of refrigerator where it makes very shallow breath. Like whispers it sounds. It has blue and green fur and stays very soft inside. I name him Candle because he brings light to my life but not too much. It is notContinue reading “My Most Animal Is Radish!”
The Job Interview
I’m nervous at a job interview, desperate to make a good impression. I really need the gig. My bank account has been wilting like a weed during a drought. The office is spare, stark, and cold. There’s nothing on the walls but beige paint. The Hiring Manager’s heavy mahogany desk stretches empty before him, aContinue reading “The Job Interview”
Crumbling Asphalt 