There are three middle-aged men standing in the cold, waiting for the library to open for the Big Sale. Unfortunately, I am one of them. We are all strangers but the other two men engage in awkward and insipid small talk. I am made of brittle thorny bone and don’t draw small talk. Something unsavoryContinue reading “Ballad of the Cantankerous Man”
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Kaleidoscope
By Hank “Stale Crouton” Kirton Robust barrel-chested Kchelogaveg yanked at a young white pine, testing the anchored clench of its root system. It would not budge. Out of frustration, or a performative outburst of masculine dominance, he pulled once more, using both hands (and a punctuating grunt). It rocked slightly. It was a straight, statelyContinue reading “Kaleidoscope”
Synaptic Damage
He was abrupt. With people. Many people disliked him because he was so abrupt. He answered questions with a hatchet. He urged you to stop wasting his time. His name was Karl Jerome Baumgarten and he was eighty-three years old and worked as a greeter at the Granville Busy-Mart. He was abrupt with the customers. Continue reading “Synaptic Damage”
I Am Often Very Afraid
My friend Dan is pretty supportive when I explain my crazy ideas to him but there’s one thing that he sometimes kids me about. My profound fear of “decreasement in the easement.” And my inability to confront the problem HEAD ON! He chortles at me whenever I mention it. Seriously! Chortles! Is that any way forContinue reading “I Am Often Very Afraid”
My Most Animal Is Radish!
My radish is my most animal because it lives in a crisper drawer inside of refrigerator where it makes very shallow breath. Like whispers it sounds. It has blue and green fur and stays very soft inside. I name him Candle because he brings light to my life but not too much. It is notContinue reading “My Most Animal Is Radish!”
The Job Interview
I’m nervous at a job interview, desperate to make a good impression. I really need the gig. My bank account has been wilting like a weed during a drought. The office is spare, stark, and cold. There’s nothing on the walls but beige paint. The Hiring Manager’s heavy mahogany desk stretches empty before him, aContinue reading “The Job Interview”
Loose Change
The adult dropped out of a red dream and came awake wondering where he was. He lifted his head with groggy, imprecise panic and focused his eyes on the darkness in front of him, searching for something familiar, something tangible to grasp. As the world emerged, he saw the gray drapes, slightly luminous from theContinue reading “Loose Change”
Like a Tapir in the Bathtub (redux)
Harvey Flense sat dejected on his favorite barstool, wondering what he did wrong. The blue girl was gone. She left with abrupt indifference. Cocktails gave his words the confidence to come out but as soon as the slurred sounds hit the atmosphere he regretted them. Wanted to reel them back in. Take a retroactive vowContinue reading “Like a Tapir in the Bathtub (redux)”
The Plummeting
From a great height he plummeted, did Norman Johnson, a man who thought he had nothing to live for anymore. Annie, his wife of thirty-six years had succumbed to pancreatic cancer and the prolonged loss was a violent rupture in the soft center of his feeble being. It was like watching The Sound of MusicContinue reading “The Plummeting”
Link Day One
At around ten thirty Link went ahead and lit a new cigarette. He could only smoke in the house after his grandmother went to bed. She went to bed every night at precisely nine o’clock and that’s when Link could smoke in the house. At nine o’clock Link could also watch his porn on theContinue reading “Link Day One”
Crumbling Asphalt 