My libido is a cluster of seaweed caught between mechanical halves.

The Constant Swallow of Time

Haggis finally realized he was engaging in head-injury behavior and returned the platypus Beanie Baby to the bar before it got damaged. It was a squishy purple thing and Ray the bartender was overprotective about it. Imagine, a 47-year-old man fretting over a silly plush-thing manufactured for children by children. According to Haggis, Ray’s obsession…
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A Guide to Fishing for Freshwater Eels: Strategies & Techniques

Hal lived a simple life. He lived in his mother’s garage and grew food in a garden and angled for game in the brackish, man-made estuary on Holland Street. He loved to fish. He had to fish. You could usually find him standing on the old, crumbling cobblestone dams with his reel, waiting for the…
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Manny’s Cancer

Manny was sure his cancer was related to the microwave oven at the Blue Ox Steakhouse. He’d worked in front of it for almost ten years. It had been manufactured in the early 80s and he stood with his unprotected head right next to it from 1994 to 2004. There was a pinhole in the…
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Rave Reviews from the Critics!

“These tales are visionary in a bottom-of-the-barrel pornographic way….” –Vickie T. Split, Abraxas Headache
“Kirton’s stories eke out feelings akin to warm red gelatin….” –Bruce Cloverleaf, Buff Spill Reviews
“These stories really hit you over the head with subtlety....” –Paul Gonk, Fossilized Prose Agenda
“I was relieved to read them….” –Garth Umberger III, Shoe Leather Surprise