Hank Kirton

This Poem is the Most!

I knew a girl who saw a ghost She said the ghost was Donny Most I told her Most was most alive She said in time he won’t survive So who’s the ghost you witnessed then? `Twas Donny Most, she said again If he’s alive then can’t you see? You must have seen a wannabe!

The Chatter of Dragonflies

Dr. Penny hung around the Dumpsters behind Cornpone Grocery all day every day that long simmering summer of 1971, recording the scissoring sounds made by the wings of dragonflies as they whizzed past her precise, scientifically-calibrated microphones. She was attempting to test her hypothesis that dragonflies communicate using their wings—composed of sensitive veins and membranes—toContinue reading “The Chatter of Dragonflies”

The Damage of the Moon

Kendra stood there in her lab coat and sloppy shoes, waiting for Josh to say something. Her arms were crossed, an impatient expression on her face. She was missing lunch for this. She was about to yell at his frustrating silence, when he finally announced, “I can feel worms in my prostate.” Kendra leaned backContinue reading “The Damage of the Moon”

Ptoth-15 and the City of Piss

A science fiction epic for the epoch! The One: Ptoth-15 moved with dwindling vigor across the ashen surface of the moon. He didn’t need to breathe anymore thanks to the (rather rushed) ritual at the Pillar of Pleura but his twin bladders both felt set to burst and if they started leaking their warm biogenicContinue reading “Ptoth-15 and the City of Piss”

Ballad of the Cantankerous Man

There are three middle-aged men standing in the cold, waiting for the library to open for the Big Sale. Unfortunately, I am one of them. We are all strangers but the other two men engage in awkward and insipid small talk. I am made of brittle thorny bone and don’t draw small talk. Something unsavoryContinue reading “Ballad of the Cantankerous Man”

Kaleidoscope

By Hank “Stale Crouton” Kirton Robust barrel-chested Kchelogaveg yanked at a young white pine, testing the anchored clench of its root system. It would not budge. Out of frustration, or a performative outburst of masculine dominance, he pulled once more, using both hands (and a punctuating grunt). It rocked slightly. It was a straight, statelyContinue reading “Kaleidoscope”

Synaptic Damage

He was abrupt. With people. Many people disliked him because he was so abrupt. He answered questions with a hatchet. He urged you to stop wasting his time. His name was Karl Jerome Baumgarten and he was eighty-three years old and worked as a greeter at the Granville Busy-Mart. He was abrupt with the customers. Continue reading “Synaptic Damage”

I Am Often Very Afraid

My friend Dan is pretty supportive when I explain my crazy ideas to him but there’s one thing that he sometimes kids me about. My profound fear of “decreasement in the easement.” And my inability to confront the problem HEAD ON! He chortles at me whenever I mention it. Seriously! Chortles! Is that any way forContinue reading “I Am Often Very Afraid”

My Most Animal Is Radish!

My radish is my most animal because it lives in a crisper drawer inside of refrigerator where it makes very shallow breath. Like whispers it sounds. It has blue and green fur and stays very soft inside. I name him Candle because he brings light to my life but not too much. It is notContinue reading “My Most Animal Is Radish!”

The Job Interview

I’m nervous at a job interview, desperate to make a good impression. I really need the gig. My bank account has been wilting like a weed during a drought. The office is spare, stark, and cold. There’s nothing on the walls but beige paint. The Hiring Manager’s heavy mahogany desk stretches empty before him, aContinue reading “The Job Interview”