Manny was sure his cancer was related to the microwave oven at the Blue Ox Steakhouse. He’d worked in front of it for almost ten years. It had been manufactured in the early 80s and he stood with his unprotected head right next to it from 1994 to 2004. There was a pinhole in the door right in front of his face. Each day, during six-hour shifts, he absorbed deadly radiation. He was an inadvertent science experiment. One of the other cooks (Max Norquist) used to put metal in the microwave (which you’re not supposed to do) and it would pop and spark and Manny would yell at Max but he kept doing it. The microwave was small and simple and nothing about it rotated or lit up. It was junk. It belonged in the junkyard. It was a deadly appliance.
So he shouldn’t have been surprised when he was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 33.
He’d started cooking at the Blue Ox right out of high school. He was the oven guy and his station was in front of the microwave. He had to stand there with all that electromagnetic radiation pouring into his brain. It was no wonder he developed a tumor and his memory sucked. He also suffered migraines that nearly blinded him.
He’d had lots of unprotected sex over the years yet remained babyless.
Evil fucking microwave. Probably made him sterile to boot, the invisible rays killing all his little swimmers.
Eventually, when he was in his late 20s, he grew concerned about his safety and mentioned the hazardous microwave to the kitchen manager (Mac Winnows) who tried to write it down in the request ledger but was so dangerously drunk all he managed was a pinched, illegible scribble. Mac’s eyes were dead that night and he was in no shape to work. That was the night he pulled a knife on one of the waitresses. Her name was Lynn Downey and she gave him shit about his sloppy plates. “People eat with their eyes,” she told him, wiping off the plate’s messy edges.
And then a butcher knife was in his hand and he chased her out of the kitchen. The bartender (Janet Moss) called the police and they dragged Mac away and Manny had to close the kitchen (which he grumbled about), sweeping and mopping by himself.
They never saw Mac again.
The Blue Ox didn’t treat Manny very well. They refused his request for a raise after Mac’s abrupt departure, despite all his extra responsibilities.
And eventually, the cheap steakhouse gave him inoperable cancer.
The crappy little microwave lasted at the Blue Ox longer than Manny did. When he finally gave his notice, they were still using the broken-down, radioactive monstrosity. By then the hole in the door had grown to the size of a dime. It looked like a cigarette burn. The plastic door was pockmarked with little black bubbles. It would have killed someone with a pacemaker.
Hell, it killed Manny.
Crumbling Asphalt 