Here I sit in my vinyl easychair, secluded in the private bunker I’ve named Castle Bravo, smoking black hash from Afghanistan and listening to an old album of xylophone music. The record was recorded in 1959, the year Hawaii became a United State. The music is supposed to be “exotic” but it’s essentially flavorless. TheyContinue reading “Sounds of a Warped Xylophone”
Category Archives: comedy
The Long Sad Song of the Shunt
I have a runny chest this morning. I can feel it. I hear it dripping like a faulty faucet. I was born with a condition known as hydrocephalus. It means cerebrospinal fluid builds up in this big ol’ noggin of mine. I was a baby with a gigantic head. My doctor once said, “You’re luckyContinue reading “The Long Sad Song of the Shunt”
Schmeckled!
“Why did you hang up on me?” the woman on the phone says. Her voice sounds familiar. It has a metallic ring. Like scraping aluminum with a coin. “I didn’t hang up on you,” I say, which is true. I don’t know what she’s talking about. I grow nervous. There is sudden suspense in theContinue reading “Schmeckled!”
